Sunday, June 23, 2013

This is the second blog I've written on a plane from New York to Helsinki. I was just trying to sleep, but all of a sudden got a serious case of restless legs... Fuck. I could crawl out of my skin right now. And I'm sure I'm annoying the heck out of the dude sitting next to me by fidgeting... I can't sleep and I'm tired as hell. Frustrating combo.

Anyway, here I am--once again, headed to my home country Finland. I am a different woman from who I was when I last visited a year ago, and I look forward to seeing how that will change my experience... The biggest change in me I think is boundaries. I have boundaries now and a clearer sense of what I want and what I don't want. I know that my buttons will be pushed on this trip, as usual, over and over again. After all, Finland is where my buttons were installed..! But I kinda look forward to the challenge now. I look forward to dealing with situations and people in a different way. I think I may even have a really good time! I will also take a brief trip to Barcelona next weekend to work on a music video, which I will write about in my next week's blog for sure.

There's a saying: 'once you stop pleasing people, people stop being pleased.' I have a feeling I may have a bit of that ahead of me on this trip. I am not so malleable and moldable anymore; I am not a pushover. That may initially rub some people the wrong way...

I feel like I travel back to Finland for the first time as an adult, as weird as that sounds. I know that challenges await, but right now I don't feel scared about it. Even in my tired state I look on all of this as an exciting challenge. This 'being an adult'-thing....I'm starting to like it..!

I have since landed in Helsinki and spent some quality time with a part of my family. Particularly two young children that I love immensely. Man, this feels different already! I've never felt as peaceful here..! Never felt more connected and loving. This is a wonderful beginning.....

"Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures."
--Edwin Louis Cole

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