"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's easy to forget that your objective was to drain the swamp."
I've had a great, but challenging week. It seems that with every new push that I make towards expansion and empowerment in my life, there is an almost equal force trying to push me back; all of this happening in my head and in my body, of course... It's that "two steps forward, one step back"-phenomenon, so familiar to many of us. It is frustrating, because some part of me always tends to think that I land back in square one, every time I take a step back...But in my heart, I know that it is not so. As I learned recently, what actually happens, is 'recycling.' A cyclical process of healing: cycling upwards on a spiral (as opposed to downwards). It is just that certain parts of the cycle can still be...well...complicated.
Sometimes, on my journey, I have moments of disbelief and exhaustion: how can there still be so many realizations, about my life, my family, my past? Am I finally nearing the end? When will it get easier? Will it get easier? I suppose these are the moments that I'm up to my ass in alligators and it's hard to focus... But, if I look back, even to a year ago from today, I can see a massive positive difference in my life. I'm a different woman, for crying out loud!
As I was agonizing over the amount of heavy-duty realizations yesterday, a mentor of mine had this to say: "I hope that you will never stop having realizations. You don't want to have a boring life, do you?" Hell no, of course not. I just hope that it gets a little easier to handle them. And to be honest, even judging by my experience, it does. It's just a matter of remembering what the objective was, and where I'm going. It's not a step back, it's a new level.