Man! Life is good! Just like it is.
I don't think I've ever felt as liberated in this world, as I do right now. I am becoming more and more aware of the many different types of brainwashing that I have undergone in my life and am working to undo the damage. My whole perspective on everything is changing due to a book (Awareness by Anthony DeMello) I read last week, and have reread since. I will rant and rave about it to anyone who will listen.

Due to my new revelations, I have started writing new songs. I was having a creative drought for a long time and started doubting whether I was actually any good at songwriting. Honestly, does it matter? I love doing it. Who's the judge of whether it's good or not? The minute I didn't care anymore (about other people's thoughts and my own brainwash), is when it just started happening naturally. And fyi, these are not pretty songs. Life is not "pretty", even though in the earlier paragraph I said it was good. In my opinion, I would be manipulating both myself and you if I just made pretty songs. If I write about life and myself honestly, it is bound to be both fucked up and beautiful at the same time.

This week has been eye-opener, quite literally. So much self-exploration; some people might even call it unhealthy. I say, who cares. I like to dive into things.

I got sick with a cold and had to find a way to deal with my stir-craziness, so I picked up a book by Anthony DeMello, called Awareness. Mind you, I'd been trying to read this book some years ago, but then thought it a bunch of psycho-babble and mumbo-jumbo.
Now, I found it utterly compelling! It is funny how one changes. The same book/music/art piece can have so much more meaning for you, depending what's going on in your life or your level of awareness.

I've gradually found that true awareness is the only way I'll ever find balance and peace.
Though I know that balance in life is a constant struggle, it doesn't hurt to have all the tools you can gather, to work with.

Life is fragile and anything could--and will happen--at any moment, (as I witnessed yesterday, helping out a lady, whose foot had been run over by a cab....ouch.)
This is how it is--the bittersweet beauty of it. Enjoy every beautiful moment of it!

Hey there,

I hope you are enjoying my new website!
I am thrilled
a) about spring!
b) about signing a record deal with NY label Engine Company Records this Monday, April 12th.
This means I will finally be releasing my new album Haunted worldwide on July 27th, 2010!

What a journey making this album has been! I have lived through the hardest years of my life while completing this record... which I'm sure can be heard in the darker tone of the music overall, compared to my earlier work. I have moved into more alternative territory and feel at home there musically. Now I can express an aggressive side that I've always had within.
I hope that my old listeners will grow with me as I grow into my own. In addition to that, I hope to find many more listeners around the world!

In a lot of ways I now feel stronger than ever and my music has no choice but to express it.
I suppose it is not just a cliche that most growth happens during adversity...
You'll be hearing a lot of my personal struggles on Haunted, and within the songs I write in the future. I am the type to cope with life's injustices, tough realisations, hate and disappointments by putting them into my music. Quite literally even.... Yet I can't help it that hope always glimmers on the bottom of it all. It is the way I'm wired, thank God. Maybe one day it will rise to the top?

Life continues to feel just a wee bit scary to me... but I have decided that that will not stop me from boldly going after my dreams. I hope you will join me on this journey. Feel free to write to me your comments and thoughts. I answer as much as I can. I will also be updating this site weekly, so keep checking in here and there...

I wish you love and success in this year! Let's keep growing and evolving. We are changing whether we like it or not, so we might as well make the best of it!

Love,

Janita